Is there something you are raring to do but can’t seem to act on it because of fear? Embarking on a creative pursuit, perhaps, or quitting a job, or starting a business?
Tomorrow, I’m going to finally jump off a cliff and quit the job I’ve had for 10 years. In the months leading up to this, I’ve been sputtering with excitement. But last week, I found myself wrought with fear. All sorts of “what if” scenarios built up in my head and made me second guess the wisdom of my decision.
So I’ve had to use some of the tools I’ve learned over 4 years of meditating to quiet my mind and CALM THE F down. These tools help me during such situations. If you find yourself paralyzed by fear, they might help you through your paralyzing thoughts, too.
Come into the present moment. We unintentionally allow these dark fearful thoughts to take over. We get anxious and can’t see beyond this dark tunnel. When we notice ourselves being overtaken by these thoughts, it is important to come back to the present. Do this by noticing your breath and allow yourself to breathe slower and deeper; feel the sun on your skin; the ground beneath your feet. Feel that you are here. And that you’re okay.
Realize that your fears are not reality. Your fears arise from thoughts. And your thoughts arise for self-preservation. But our thoughts are constructs of our limited knowledge about the world. The world is in a constant state of flux, and what our mind tells us is safe may not necessarily be so. For example, staying at my job may not necessarily be a safer bet for me. So why not live fully, deeply and richly anyway?
Break your fears up into bite sizes. Our fears usually arise out of baseless leaps to catastrophic conclusions. For example, we think that if we quit our jobs, we’ll end up on the streets. How did we automatically jump to that assigned outcome? If we face the fear and break it down into manageable bite sizes, we realize that we have a lot more control over our lives at each step. Before we end up on the streets, we can look for a job, we can move to a cheaper location, we can move back in with mom and dad. . .
Take small steps towards the fear. And breathe. In my case, I told a colleague. Then, I started taking some personal belongings home with me. Take a small step today. Then tomorrow, take another one.
And remember that nothing is irreversible. We are always allowed to change our minds. If we decide that this decision wasn’t for us, we always have the option to change course. No one is holding us to the 5-year plan we built in our head.
And if things do go awry, as they sometimes may, know that you are supported by the universe at every single moment. You will always have the tools necessary to cope with the situation in front of you. Be silent and listen to your intuition. Be open.
There were many times in my life when fear almost held me back from doing what I wanted to do. I considered foregoing my acceptance at Columbia University in NY after the 9/11 attacks. I almost passed on giving a bridesmaid speech at my sister’s wedding. More recently, I almost cancelled my solo trip to the south of France right after the attack in Nice. Many times, I’ve forced myself to step through my fears. And not once did I regret doing so. It is during these times that internal transformation occurs.
If we force ourselves to face little fears on a regular basis, we build a powerful muscle that allows us to live richly and boldly. Isn’t that, after all, how our lives are meant to be lived? So go walk up to that stranger, take that improv class, book that solo trip. You will be rewarded abundantly for it.