Paris, December 2019
As we were leaving a boulangerie, my friend asked “Why did you say merci beaucoup?”
“Umm, to be polite?”
“But the lady didn’t do anything special. She just gave you your croissant. I don’t think that deserved a beaucoup. Save that for when they do something special.”
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Whenever I enter a store, I throw out a hearty “bonJOUR!” with the enthusiastic intonation of a Filipino and American combined (i.e., the pitch on the second syllable being several degrees higher than the first). My friend frequently reminded, “Not too enthusiastic. All very flat. bon-jour. One tone.”
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Ah the French. It’s all about restraint. They get suspicious about too much over-the-top eagerness. In fact, there is no direct translation in French for ‘I am excited’. Because the French don’t do excitement. Everything is subdued. To express what the rest of the us would call ‘great!’, they simply say pas mal (not bad). To say something is brilliant, they say c’est pas bête (that’s not dumb).
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I have a theory for this self-restraint. I presented it to my friend: “It’s all in the mouth formation. Speaking French is like speaking with a corset around your lips. There are no big vowel sounds that require the mouth to form large shapes. No AAAH EH EEEEH AAAAAW OOOOOH. French vowel sounds are made by puckering the lips, parting them ever so slightly, then making quick sounds by way of the nose — uh, euh, uoh, aw, iui. A lifetime of pouty faces certainly must do something to your facial muscles that it becomes difficult to make grand facial expressions. And physical facial restriction surely must result in that inherent cultural emotional reserve of yours.”
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My friend couldn’t disagree. Then she brushed it off with a big laugh … well, to the extent the French laugh big.
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Original photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels