[An open letter to my family]
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My Dear Siblings,
I hereby resign from the position of Unofficially Appointed Responsible Member of the Family. It has been an honor to have served in this capacity, which began when Mom handed me a wad of cash on her way to the airport and said “Keep your siblings alive while we’re away.” I will have you know that while I had the desire AND the power to only buy Chocolate Mallows, I bought chicken. Just so that you stayed alive.
I was 11 then. I’ve continued to be sensible since.
Through the years, I turned off the lights when you couldn’t be bothered to, I picked up the crumbs you dropped, I wrote the corresponding apology letters for your offenses. More recently, I started managing the family budget and payments. I hired the accountants and lawyers. I file, organize, plan. Remind, rearrange, prepare.
While you, my dear siblings, remain oblivious to the tedium. I can’t blame you. If I had a sister like me, I would do the same.
So, while you somersault carefree into the proverbial ocean, I watch wistfully from afar, tax returns in hand.
But today, my self-worth is drawing the line. She is demanding that I stop acting solely out of a sense of duty; stop being a martyr when nobody is asking me to be one. She is reminding me that life is too precious to buy the chicken. There must be something in it for me than just fulfillment of obligation — pleasure maybe, or a fun challenge, or proper compensation.
So meanwhile, I will start taking cues from you, my dear siblings.
I, too, will jump WILDLY into the waters — I may decide to keep the lid OFF the toothpaste. I might chomp into flakey croissant while striding over a carpet. I may even play an inordinate amount of golf just for the hell of it. Or buy a pet on a whim. Or even be late for a meeting AND zone out halfway through!
I’ll be unrecognizable, I warn you. Just you wait. I can’t.
Respectfully,
Me