My dad’s mind has been quite picky lately. It doesn’t hold on to a whole host of things like appointments, dates, and doctors’ diagnoses. He defends it by saying “why should it retain anything that’s unimportant?”
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Meanwhile, he tells elaborate stories replete with incredible detail about things that happened 40 years ago. “Hey,” he usually starts. “Do you know how I ended up with this ash-covered land that I converted into this adventure park?” “Do you know how I got the idea to build a school?” “Do you know…”
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My inner drill sergeant chooses to focus on his memory gaps. “Yeeees dad, you’ve told this story many times. Most recently, this morning. More importantly, did you take your meds? And must you drink that wine? Your doctor said you’re a beer away from liver cirrhosis, remember?” “I don’t remember. Anyway, that’s unimportant,” he’d say.
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Recently I got tired of (and depressed by) the drill sergeant act. And I started to listen to the stories again.
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About how he and his friends embarked on the crazy idea of building extreme rides in the middle of nowhere, and consequently vitalizing the surrounding towns. How, despite the struggles, he and his partner built a university from scratch in 4 years. How, for 20 years, he would tell everybody how his Congressional proposal for a tunnel-bridge across Manila Bay would solve Manila’s traffic problems and is finally and only now being implemented by the government.
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I listen to him talk about his future projects — the beach resort he wants to build, the documentary on Bataan he wants to produce, the high-end restaurant in Bataan he wants to start. I, of the wet-blanket kind, respond, “Really? At your age? With zero experience?”
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“Those are unimportant,” he says. “If i focused on those things, my life would have turned out very differently.”
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Last week, we went back to his liver doctor for further test results. The giddy doctor reversed his earlier pronouncement and exclaimed, “Your liver is finnnne!”
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Such is the magic of picky minds that retain only what is important.
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Happy 81st birthday, Daddy-o! I love you, and I’m so glad i’m listening.
Retaining the Important
