Taming the Beast

It’s been 2 years since I quit my corporate job. So far, so good. I finally have time for travel, for family and friends, for a healthy relationship, and for creative pursuits.

And yet, my monkey mind, a term used for the mind’s constant chatter, can’t seem to leave well enough alone. Recently, it’s been bouncing off the walls, blathering on: It’s time to make money! You’re not just dipping into your savings, you’re canon balling into it! … Or Obsolescence! The longer you wait to get a job, the more irrelevant you’ll be! … Or Lifestyle! How are you going to pay for what you want?!    This monkey has one, and only one, thing on its mind: money.

The buddhists’ response to the monkey mind is to meditate the monkey away. Not so easy when it comes to the money monkey. This particular one is a beast! It dictates how we live and prevails on our happiness. We hear it all the time: I hate my job, but I need to keep making money. . . I could be happy, but I don’t have the amount of money I thought I’d have by now.

Sure, we need to accrue money to live comfortably. When we’re hungry, the money monkey is there to help us: Accumulate! Survive!  It would serve us well to pay heed. But there comes a point, once we’ve made enough to provide food on the table and a roof over our heads, that money becomes a decision. This is the point when we can reclaim our power from the monkey and decide how to balance out the pursuit of money with actually living. Endless accumulation, despite the monkey chatter, does not have to be the default.

Of course it’s easier said than done. While meditation and mindfulness might get us some way to silencing this fear-monger, wresting back our power from the quantitative and practical money monkey needs an equally logical and rational approach. Two years ago, I went through a very deliberate and analytical exercise. It helped quiet the mind chatter then, and continues to help foster a proper relationship with money today.

First, Know What You Have

Having a clear picture of my financial position is a powerful tool for calming the monkey’s fear of a cash shortage.

Before this exercise, I had an impressionistic picture at best. I kind of knew where my assets were, had a vague idea of what I was saving and spending, and had no idea what I was invested in — I entrusted my financial advisor to do all the thinking on that.

When this uncertainty got too unbearable, I decided to finally take a hard look under the hood. I cleaned up the mess I found — closed dormant accounts, consolidated money into a few strongly-rated banks, and got organized with online statements and passwords. I calculated my savings, analyzed my monthly expenses, fixed leaks (such as auto-payments for online subscriptions that I didn’t use), and got an appreciation of my cash runway (that is, how much time my savings could afford).

I also fired my financial advisor (after realizing the fees I had been paying him all this while!), and took control of my investments. I read personal finance books and blogs, and educated myself on investment options. I set myself up so I bought only what I understood, and what was in accordance with my risk tolerance and plans. I set aside cash for a rainy day and bought insurance to cover certain unmitigated risks. I revisit my positions semi-annually. All very simple. All monkey-pacifying.

Second, Know What is Going on Around You

Being aware of this ever-changing world and understanding where I may fit in appeases the monkey’s fear of obsolescence.

I spend a lot of my time walking around, listening to podcasts, browsing bookstores, checking out new products, and talking to people. I observe what people are currently doing, thinking, and buying. I take note of trends, of unmet consumer needs, and of industries being disrupted.  Engaging in these activities keep my mind active in forming ideas (silly or otherwise). Then I draw up a list of these ideas for business opportunities or personal projects. I brainstorm with family and friends. Some of these ideas, I try out; most of them don’t see the light of day.

I also spend a good chunk of my days learning new skills. I try new design software; I code (poorly); I write (sometimes).

None of these I do for a specific purpose. I don’t expect to be hired as a programmer, for example. Nor do I brainstorm to finesse business concepts for execution. It’s simply about being curious, keeping mentally nimble, and watching where it all leads. And it assures the monkey that I am ready to hit the ground running when the opportunities arise.

Most importantly, Know What Is Enough

Knowing What is enough for me? is key to dealing with the monkey’s demand to keep up with Joneses.

For better or worse, I’ve always had a strong sense of my “luxury spectrum”. As a Taurus ruled by the goddess of beauty, I require a minimum level of comfort — a clean cozy space in a culturally thriving city, healthy food, a few nice things. Anything more than that, I have a lot less interest for — I never cared for the seat upgrade, the “it” bags, or a massive wardrobe. So, when the monkey sees what others have and points out: You need a job to make more money so you can buy the big house, and several vacation homes, and club memberships, and beautiful jewelry, and. . .and . . . and, I dig in and firmly remind it:

I have everything I want right now. I have time for travel, for family and friends, for a healthy relationship, and for creative pursuits. I have a space to feel at home, fresh food, and a few nice things. This is luxurious living. This, for me, is enough.

Thank you for your concern, money monkey. Now, please be on your way.

 

Photo by Walter Sanchez Martinez from Pexels